Wednesday, April 23, 2003
Lesson 12: Watch the Explainometer
I'm a fan, medium-sized, of the tv show Smallville. It's a what-if show. Meaning, it asks the question: what if Superman were an adolescent right now?
The result is a fairly dark, Buffy-tinged show about being a teenager with powers that both awe our young Clark Kent and...well, piss him off.
And, of course, he is, as many normal teens are, convinced he is alone. Unique.
But in this episode, Clark briefly believes that one of the weirder kids in his school is ALSO from the planet Krypton. The kid has healing powers. He draws Krypton-like space ships. And the nasty boys at school pick on him. At a crucial point in the story, the nasty boys nearly kill Weird Guy as he believes he is about to be beamed up to his real home. We already know, as Clark does, that Weird Guy is just a human kid who has a few special powers.
So here's the problem. Weird Guy, at the urging of Clark, "heals" a nasty boy who has just tried to hurt him. Badly. While the crucial beam up time comes...and goes. The Weird Guy, who believes himself trapped on the earth, falls into a coma.
Powerful stuff. Meanwhile, it takes a full scene and a half AFTER this one to explain motivations, timing, actions---perhaps as much times as the original scenes did.
This is a dramatic flaw in a show that is generally very well written, but it's an object lesson for cleaning up your script. If you find yourself writing a snappy scene, and then finding yourself compelled to explain it in the next scene, stop, look, listen. As a writer, you should always be conspiring to bring the audience into your confidence. Into your understanding. There are, of course, movies that delight in keeping the audience guessing. But if you are not writing this kind of a movie, really honor your audience. Allow them to stay on the same page. Write well enough so that you aren't playing museum docent to your scenes. "What you just saw could be explained by..."
No. Don't do it. It's shoddy writing. And you want better than that.
I'm a fan, medium-sized, of the tv show Smallville. It's a what-if show. Meaning, it asks the question: what if Superman were an adolescent right now?
The result is a fairly dark, Buffy-tinged show about being a teenager with powers that both awe our young Clark Kent and...well, piss him off.
And, of course, he is, as many normal teens are, convinced he is alone. Unique.
But in this episode, Clark briefly believes that one of the weirder kids in his school is ALSO from the planet Krypton. The kid has healing powers. He draws Krypton-like space ships. And the nasty boys at school pick on him. At a crucial point in the story, the nasty boys nearly kill Weird Guy as he believes he is about to be beamed up to his real home. We already know, as Clark does, that Weird Guy is just a human kid who has a few special powers.
So here's the problem. Weird Guy, at the urging of Clark, "heals" a nasty boy who has just tried to hurt him. Badly. While the crucial beam up time comes...and goes. The Weird Guy, who believes himself trapped on the earth, falls into a coma.
Powerful stuff. Meanwhile, it takes a full scene and a half AFTER this one to explain motivations, timing, actions---perhaps as much times as the original scenes did.
This is a dramatic flaw in a show that is generally very well written, but it's an object lesson for cleaning up your script. If you find yourself writing a snappy scene, and then finding yourself compelled to explain it in the next scene, stop, look, listen. As a writer, you should always be conspiring to bring the audience into your confidence. Into your understanding. There are, of course, movies that delight in keeping the audience guessing. But if you are not writing this kind of a movie, really honor your audience. Allow them to stay on the same page. Write well enough so that you aren't playing museum docent to your scenes. "What you just saw could be explained by..."
No. Don't do it. It's shoddy writing. And you want better than that.
